people despise me

Sometimes I feel down for what people have thought about me. I know what kind of person I am. Frankly speaking I’m a straight forward type of person, really straight forward. But it doesn’t mean that I hate you or what. I’m just telling you what I have in my mind.

I will tell out everything in my mind before processing it. I didn’t know that by telling the truth, people may get offended and even despise me for that. And it hurts me a lot when I realize that people hate me for that. Every now and then, I really can’t figure out that things that I said were wrong. Or at least it was wrong to them.

So, from now on, I should have talk lesser or maybe just keep my mouth shut.

Or I should have said all the good things instead of bad things.

Or maybe I should have create another story and tell them lies?

When I say out a thing, maybe I didn’t really mean it. Or maybe I don’t really know how to express myself. But the person who is listening will twist and turn my initial meaning. And from their own personal perspective, they will perceive me as a bad evil person.

When I am telling something, the other party who is listening misunderstood my meaning, and then he might add in oil, sugar, herbs to things that I’ve said. Then he will perceive that siNMay is such a materialistic, selfish, awful bitch, hope she rots in hell. And he tells everyone that I am this materialistic selfish awful bitch.

Misunderstood?

Seriously, if you really thinks that I’ve said something wrong and hurt you directly, can you just tell me face to face what’s wrong with me. Instead telling others that I’ve changed a lot and couldn’t believe that I am such an awful person?

Sigh..

There are no evil plans in my mind. I don’t wish to conquer the world. I don’t wish people to die. Yes, I am realistic but I am not materialistic. Maybe I did say wrong thing, but just because I didn’t know what had happen.

There was this one stupid case happened to me before when I was in genting. In that case, I don’t think that there is anything wrong with me as I am just telling the truth.

Well, there is this girl, let’s just named her A. Her boyfriend was cheating on her with another girl named B. Everyone knows about it including A. I know her boyfriend as a friend but I don’t know her.

My other friend told me that she saw A following her ex walking into the guys hostel. So when we were chatting 1 day, I’ve told her bf about she followed her ex into the room, which I said it out accidentally. I really don’t mean it. Then the bf told me that she lied to him coz she said she went for laundry on that day.

So 1 day when I was waiting for my friends. This A came to me. She asked me are you XXX and you are my bf’s friend right? I was in shocked but still I answer her politely. Then she asked me about her bf’s scandal. I said ya. Then she asked, if you are in my position, will you still with him?

Then without thinking why the hell she comes and talks to me or why she asked such weird questions. I told her straightforwardly what’s in my mind. I said.. Of course I will dump him. He cheated on you. He be with you at the same time and he makes love with another girl. I personally can’t accept that.

After a while we went off..

Few days later, the bf told me.. you know what, my gf hates you so much. She didn’t allow me to go out if you are in the gang I said what the hell? The reason is……

I said bad things about her bf.

*faint directly and gets coma*

What the hell is wrong with this girl? She hates me because I tell the truth instead of hating the girl who sleeps with her bf? She hates me just because I said that her bf is a Casanova and it is not worth to be with this kind of guy..

It is even gross when the bf told me about his sex life with his second gf---B.

To myself,

Sinmay, there are many people out there. Some are just oversensitive. Some have shallow minds. They couldn’t accept who you are or things that you said. So my dear, you should think for others before you say something. Think from their point of view.

If you think that you are right, keep it to yourself instead of express everything out. You will not know who might get oversensitive and misunderstanding can occur anytime. And remember.. They might despise you for things that you’ve said.

Another thing that I always believe is, friends are better in quality instead of quantity.