new hair style

ladies and gentlemen,

here you go!!

my shoulder length hair..

my sis say no difference before and after i cut my hair..

-________________-

cut so much ady say no difference...


so, nice or not???

Dream

Yesterday when i was in Ipoh, i dreamt of grandma..

Finally...

I was so happy because i can finally dream of her. I know it was a dream in that scene.. i have already accept the fact that she is gone.

first thing said to me is that.. " Do you wana follow me?"

yupe, my grandma blurted out whether I wana follow her.. you see, i know it's a dream so i say no.. i say grandma you go peacefully.. and i saw white fog behind her where she was standing..

then i remembered my brother once said that.. if i ever dream of grandma, please ask her the lottery number.. so i did!! grandma just give me 5 digits numbers..( i bought the numbers already, didn't come out..)

after that, grandma constantly appear in my dream that night.. i was having dream within dream..inception?? i told my siblings that i finally dreamt of grandma!! then i saw grandma was there with us..

grandma appear again in a scene where i was watching tv... then i asked her.. poh.. why ?? is there anything bad going to happen to our family? she didn't reply.. so i asked again.. is it auntie's family or our family? she replied yes when i say our family..

i got so emo the whole day after i dreamt of her.. i'm worry.. dream is just a dream.. please forget it..

still hoping that grandma lives happily in her world..

Reluctantly I have to let her go

It’s been almost 2 weeks since I lost my beloved grandma.. As people been telling me, time will heal the pain.

I’m trying to cope with the differences now.

Everytime when I go back, I still call my grandma like usual once I enter the room. The difference is, she has gone. I tend to talk to myself as if I’m still having normal conversation with grandma. I still tried very hard to imagine that my grandma still sleeping there, or still talking to me, or still telling me her weirdest dream ever.

I know my grandma wouldn’t want me to cry so much. I’ve stop crying already. All right, I still shed my tears when think of her. But become lesser compare a week ago.

As what my sister say, try to make myself busy in order not to think of grandma. I did, and it kinda worked. But once you have nothing to do, once your mind starts to get blank, her images will start flowing inside my mind.

I have to admit, it’s a very difficult stage for me to go through. Losing her is such an intolerable pain for me to handle. I’ve dreamt this before, that when I come home, my grandma gone. I can’t find her anywhere. The feeling of losing her haunts me all the time. And when the nightmare becomes reality, I have break down emotionally.

My friend says I have to let her go. Yes, I’m letting her go now.

Reluctantly I have to let her go.

见物思人

Please give me a time machine

Please give me a time machine.

Go back to the past, change everything if possible.

Go back to the past, to prevent this miserable feeling.

Will time cure my deadly pain?

When can the pain fade away?

Please give me a time machine.

I will press a button and go back to my good old days..

To live happily without any pain…

很不舍得你。。 =‘（

总希望能梦见婆婆。。 听听她是否有话要交待我，想知道现在的她如何了？？

吃的饱吗？穿得暖吗？？ 又见到公公和她的朋友吗？？

我们大家都好不习惯，没有了婆婆的声音。没有了她的笑声。。

我知道，人始终有一天是会离开这个世界的。。 可是，我还是很不舍得。。毕竟婆婆是从小看着我大的人，是婆婆一手带大我们几个冬瓜的。。

以前我总在朋友面前谈婆婆多过自己的父母。。父母是从婆婆口中了解我的事情。。

婆婆总能记得我的朋友，时常问起他们的事情。。


婆婆是个乐观派，我长这么大。。 从没看过她流过一滴眼泪，还记得当时发生了一些事，大家都为婆婆的事情而起冲突，我难过得躲在床上哭，是婆婆反过来安慰我，说不用为为这些事情哭，叫我出去和朋友玩，忘记伤心的事。。

婆婆一生劳碌，没什么机会享受人生。。 她常说想到中国看看，可是那时婆婆已走不动了。。公公在婆婆怀着叔叔的时候已经去世了，而那些说为的亲戚却把公公留下来的一些财产给骗光了，一个寡妇凭自己的能力带大5个孩子是不容易的，大家都没得吃了，婆婆还能照顾住在她家后面的孤儿。。


我的弟妹他们都说婆婆去世也是一件好事，至少婆婆不用那么辛苦了。。她可以去一个更好的地方生活了。

可是，我还是很不习惯。。昨天我一直睡不好，因为以前婆婆总会在半夜叫醒我，说肚子饿了，换尿片了，或说她还没吃饭。。（其实晚餐她吃了很多）。。或说一些古林精怪，牛头不对马嘴的事情。。婆婆去世的那个星期，她已经忘了很多事情。。问我的孩子在那里？为什么丈夫没来接我回家。。那时的我以为婆婆像以往一样说莫名其妙的事。。


婆。。


我很不舍得你。。真的很辛苦。。




大家都说时间能淡忘我对婆婆的思念，可是。。几时才会呢？？