nothing particular

1. Watching (500) days of summer… alone of course.. Always plan to watch some good movies, but friends either gave me a strange stare or jaw drop after I say the movies that I wana watch.. Because they never ever heard of those movies.. Examples, the time traveler’s wife, law abiding citizen.. Sigh.. Am I so odd? I don’t think so..

2. Trying to finish the novel that I’ve been ‘diligently’ reading.. a novel that I borrowed from library hoping that after reading it, it will somehow gives me a clue on how should I deal with my trouble.. Few pages per day is quite a slow progress.. gotta speed up!!!

3. There is a test on this coming Monday but I haven’t even flip through any of those pages..

So, what to say..

I felt empty and alone sometimes..

Feel alone when I am alone, feel alone when I’m with bunch of people.. Feel alone when I’m facing some problems, feel alone when I’m in doubt, feel alone when I have no idea what is ahead of me. Feel like I’m not belong to anywhere or anything..

I truly feel pleased to see my friends when they are hanging out with their beloved.. I never agreed on living together before marriage because it gives me an impression that you can have the rest of your life to spend with this same particular someone, why so rush to stay together now when you have forever waiting for you? However ironically, I wish that I could be like one of them sometimes..

Cuddling on the bed, watching movies together, preparing dinner together, celebrating any unnecessary occasion, eating take-away food, laughing at my lame jokes, doing the chores together…

I’m having my ridiculous day dream again..

It seems that I still haven’t cope well with my single-but-unavailable life style now..

I always fill up my schedule by hanging out with my friends.. To make myself busier.. To use up my time so that I won’t start to think something stupid and hopeless..

It is just making me exhausted and broke..