Reluctantly I have to let her go

It’s been almost 2 weeks since I lost my beloved grandma.. As people been telling me, time will heal the pain.

I’m trying to cope with the differences now.

Everytime when I go back, I still call my grandma like usual once I enter the room. The difference is, she has gone. I tend to talk to myself as if I’m still having normal conversation with grandma. I still tried very hard to imagine that my grandma still sleeping there, or still talking to me, or still telling me her weirdest dream ever.

I know my grandma wouldn’t want me to cry so much. I’ve stop crying already. All right, I still shed my tears when think of her. But become lesser compare a week ago.

As what my sister say, try to make myself busy in order not to think of grandma. I did, and it kinda worked. But once you have nothing to do, once your mind starts to get blank, her images will start flowing inside my mind.

I have to admit, it’s a very difficult stage for me to go through. Losing her is such an intolerable pain for me to handle. I’ve dreamt this before, that when I come home, my grandma gone. I can’t find her anywhere. The feeling of losing her haunts me all the time. And when the nightmare becomes reality, I have break down emotionally.

My friend says I have to let her go. Yes, I’m letting her go now.

Reluctantly I have to let her go.