my late night thoughts

1253AM
Since I am now enjoying my so called ‘holidays’, I am not happy at all. I was overjoyed when I started my sem break, because I can stop studying and not getting hideous pimples again and again and again. 3 weeks, my holidays only last for 3 weeks. Apparently I think it’s not enough since my friends have 3 months holidays!!


Well, how have I spend my past few days? Basically I just sit in front of the computer 24/7, continuously update my blog, writing nonsense and bullshitting. Playing msn, talk rubbish, gossiping, keeping in touch, pretending that im a bee. Copying recipe and read other people’s blogs and bla bla bla...


Hey!! I deserve a better life okay!!


One thing I hate about myself is my English and mandarin. I am lousy in both of them… my way of writing seems so average and uninteresting. I am not able to express my true way of thinking through writing. I mean, I envy those people who have excellent vocabulary and able to write as if they are writing for a novel or stuff like that. Dear asked me to read a lot to improve my English but hey, I dislike reading. And I envy those people who are good in their mandarin, they able to use simpulan bahasa and express their thoughts in a pleasant way. So each time I write in mandarin, I did spend some time in thinking of its han yu pin yin and its correct structure. T______T


Maybe you will think that why don’t I just start to do some reading and stop complaining.


My reasons are I hate seeing so many words and books are expensive.


i never like my life. always feel that i am getting stuck in no where. Not knowing what i want, what i need and what i like. such a loser..


1:25AM
Sometimes I do hate myself.